It’s 1.53am as I type this, and I’m creating yet another blog. I have lost track of all my blogs so, in my adrenalined-fuelled late night mania it seemed like the correct thing to do would be to have one blog and put everything there.
I thought I would compartmentalize my interests. One blog and Instagram for all my makeup shiz so I wouldn’t bombard friends’ newsfeeds with all my narcissistic selfies, and another “serious” IG and WordPress page (which then got shifted to Tumblr) for my writing. And there have been other Tumblrs and WordPresses floating around as side projects whose passwords I have long forgotten. To convince myself to take at least the makeup blog seriously, I even paid for a premium WordPress account in 2016, but eventually did fewer than twenty posts throughout the year as my interest in makeup waned. The other side didn’t are any better; I was all set on writing Tumblr-styled bite-sized poems with the appropriate burnt paper styling but then ended up taking more photos than writing poems, and then writing more short fictions than poems, the former which are just not suited for either platform as they are 1) too long to fit in an IG square and 2) just not as rebloggable. So that was a fail. And then I ended up filling the Instagram with photos, not writing.
Also I had come up with both domain names on the fly and meant to change them at some point in time but because 1) I really really suck at doing things and 2) “Natalie Wang” or “Nat Wang” is a shockingly common name and both names have been long choped by other people I have to make do with another silly (but hopefully less so) URL, and hopefully I will stick to it.
I’ve also realised that I can’t compartmentalize my interests. It feels silly to do so especially when I have them labelled internally as “serious art” and “not serious art” because I’ve somehow still internalized that makeup and fashion are less important mediums. Really, they’re all just me trying to put my own mark on the world; whether with makeup, fashion, photos, or words. I was thinking that I would make something less blog and more professional, but I suppose I’ll get a professional website when I actually become professional.
Okay, but back The First Post and Why Is It Still Scary – because I always try to make first posts a manifesto of sorts and outline my goals (even if it will then end up being promptly buried by a slew of other posts). So this site will be more scattershot: I will post many things in it including stuff on makeup and beauty, photographs I take, musings, writings that may or may not be my own. In other words this will probably be like a very open public journal, or a blog in its most unpolished form. The goal for myself is that despite this mass/mess of different mediums and photos I will still try to integrate it all somehow so that the site does not end up looking too haphazard. I will stop being lazy and work more on long-form writing. I will also be more disciplined in the backstage processes of my work: making more detailed notes on the makeup I use for the photoshoots I am involved in, or keeping track of the camera settings I use when taking photographs in manual mode.